Life Improves with an Idea for a Non-Profit

With PTSD symptoms disappearing or being less frequent, I began to enjoy everyday activities again. Unfortunately, enjoying life more also made me less appreciative of my job. A manager at the company could see I was no longer happy there, and since they were making budget cuts, they let me …

Sound Waves and The Brain

Recently I discovered the cause of my inability to shop for groceries like a normal human being. It is not an emotional trigger, which is why numerous attempts at emotional self-regulation going into grocery stores failed. Rather, it is a sound frequency seemingly created by either refrigerator compressors, air conditioning …

Ignore the Stigma of PTSD

Sometimes I can see doubt come over people when I tell them I have PTSD. Perhaps they have images of people lashing out with guns, heads hung low in depression, or faces in shock (dissociation). While these images are examples of some cases, this is not how life with PTSD …

Blankness

Recently I returned to the New York City World Trade Center Health Program after a dismal experience with the national 9/11 program. Everyone at the program in NYC made re-enrollment a breeze, in spite of the program now being overseen on the federal level. During my intake appointment for psychological …

Service Dogs Rock (Some People Suck)

Sometimes I think my dog is super smart. Last night, I had trouble falling asleep. Usually, I call her and she puts her head on my arm and I fall asleep. Last night she just came over on her own and put her head on my arm until I got …

Zombie Mind

On Friday, I pushed myself to finish a project for work that was due at the end of December. I didn’t want it to be more than a week late. The project involved documentation and required a lot of mental focus involving writing, editing, organization, and digital publishing work with …

An Aging Benefit

With aging comes experience (most of the time). And as we and our parents or children age, the more family members within two generations can understand each other. My parents have become elderly in the last several years, and I returned to Brooklyn partly to help them. Perhaps my experience …

Dissociation Breakthrough

My therapist, Eamonn, always asked me what went through my mind whenever I had dissociated. (I use “disassociate” and “dissociate” interchangeably; whatever feels comfortable in the moment. Both mean disconnecting from the real world.) Most of the time I could not recall where I went in my head. My disconnections …

Photo by Riley Briggs. Downtown Des Moines, Iowa

PTSD is a Mental Illness

There are some times when it is blatantly clear that I have a mental illness. I went to the store today to pick up some items: pasta, olive oil, mozzarella cheese, and milk in a glass bottle. (The glass bottle is irrelevant to the topic, but I was happy to …

Stumbling Block

My plan to write about the tiny houses where I stayed during my cross-continent trip from San Francisco to Brooklyn is on a backburner. That is because the moving company that left with 13 items of mine arrived in Brooklyn with only 12. The missing piece is a print, called …