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August 2014

Signs of Diminishing Hypervigilance

Gabapentin has been a game-changing treatment. I had been so dull to what was happening around me that I didn’t realize I felt irritable until there was a conflict with another person. The irritablity became hypervigilance and out of nowhere I went to war. Now I can feel irritability as …

Farewell, Robin Williams

There is much sadness along with the news of Robin Williams’ passing. He was one of my favorite comedians, one who seemed down-to-earth and well-liked in his neighborhood of Sea Cliff and around town in San Francisco. My co-worker, Chris, shares this: I don’t know how old I was, but …

Wary Motorcycling on the Freeway

To get to work back in July 2013, I rode my Ninja 500 on the freeway for a few¬†miles to get to the Caltrain. Riding a motorcycle for 30 miles each way every day is taxing physically and mentally, but 8 miles to the Caltrain station isn’t bad. The first …

New Beginning

Unfortunately, a PTSD sufferer becomes limited in what can be accomplished. There are countless days when I wish I could have written down what I had experienced. But so many of those times I would try and fail with the inability to form thoughts into words or even put thoughts …

Returning Feelings

July 18, 2014 There was a specific moment on the night of 9-11-01 when I became numb and unable to have normal, healthy feelings. It was during an emergency hotline phone call when the president of Fuji Bank called. In spite of my saying that all patients who came through …

Why people choose homelessness

June 19, 2013 I could pay some bills today, but I probably wouldn’t remember it tomorrow. My mind is so disconnected that I’m not sure what’s real and what exists only in my head. My mental health notes, the crucial ones that explain when I started losing concentration at work, …