Back to Recovery

I think my therapist was wrong this time about assuming I would be re-traumatized by recalling the 9-11 hotline situation. After clicking Publish, I cried, blew my nose, and then started feeling better. My numbness has turned to empathy. I look at strangers at happy hour enjoying each others’ company and feel happy for them. I feel stronger and have started looking forward again to finding a job.

A blogger on adventuresofabrokensoldier.com wrote about a veteran who went to a VA hospital because he had suicidal thoughts. They put him in a room by himself for hours at a time. This is unacceptable.

I write this blog so that people who don’t have PTSD can better understand what it’s like. That includes professionals. I don’t care if a person has a PhD in psychology; there is no way a person can really know what it’s like without experiencing it firsthand. Blogging about my struggles is to help people have a better understanding about the condition and not do stupid things like isolating those who simply need another human being’s presence. This is why I write so openly about my struggles. It’s also because I want people who also struggle with PTSD to know they are not alone and that there is a way to deal.

Since Monday, I have not stopped thinking about getting on a horse. I might not have been able to stop another trauma from happening last week, but I can do whatever I can to get back to where I was in recovery.

We are not living so that we can just do whatever the hell we want and expect to exist in bliss. We are meant to learn and grow. For those with PTSD, we are here because of our hearts. The world is full of people who are hurt, lost, and feeling hopeless. They are not alone. We are not alone. And we can get through this.

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